First Annual Rossi Awards (part 1)

Welcome to the very first presentation of the Rossi Awards where I will announce the winners of some of this year's most awesome features. For those of you who don't know what the Rossi Awards are all about (where have you been?) let me explain. Over the past twelve months myself and the pannel of a few wayward brain cells have been collecting notes and data on who we feel most deserves the honor (or horror) of earning the top position on our list for their categories. These categories are kind of random (hey, its the first year and I'm making this up as I go along) so be patient and wait till all the winners are announced before you start your complaining. Feedback is welcome. Who knows? Maybe there's an award for the craziest comment I've recieved on my site. (Nah) So, here they are in no particular order:

This years winner of the Rossi Award in the field of...

Television shows is: MXC (honorable mention: The Colbert Report, Jeopardy!)

Rookie of the Year is: Huston Street (hands down)

Best Prank: Dead Animals on Farris' Lawn (too bad we can't get footage of the reaction)

Worst Idea: Peeing on Joel's car (Tiki Room would've made last year's list)

Best place to hang out: Anthony's house (It's so LOUD!)

Best haircut: Andrew's Fro-Hawk courtesy of Matt and Joel (Someone has the pictures)

Teacher of the Year: Mrs. Simmons and Mr. Absood (where were they at graduation?)

Best Root-Beer Baseball Game: Some one has the pictures (there was only one, right?)

Car Accident: David trying to kill the OLM kids or Happle hitting the parked car (toss up)

Automobile: Matt's Shaggin' Wagon (that car is one of us)

Movie Rental: Team America (holy crap)

to be continued...

(there's plenty more where that came from. plus, an exclusive look at this years style of the trophy. maybe. if i get around to it.)

The Jerk

The funniest movie that no one has ever heard of is 'The Jerk'. It is now reinstated as one of my favorite movies. Maybe one of these days I'll get around to changing my profile to include it. I never realized how much of a inovator of comedy Steve Martin is. If you haven't seen it you should seriously consider sitting down and watching it. It's old (1979) so don't expect to laugh out loud and wet your pants but it has to be one of the most commendable works of comedy of all time. How could a movie with the line "I'd love you even if you were the color of a baboon's ass!" not be worth watching? It's hilarious. So watch it. Plus, Bernadette Peters is in it and she has to be the sexiest actress of the twentieth century. So there you go; you've got good lines, good writing and a hot chick. What else could you want. Put it on your next Netflix order or I will fight you.

Alright, it's been a while since I've done one of these, but I think it may be time for a new one. Whenever I try to write one of these they always turn out retarded but everyone else has good ones. Keep that in mind.

• The class I miss the most from senior year is probably the fourth period physics class we had despite being with Farris the whole time.
• If money wasn't an issue I'd drive home anytime I had more than five consecutive hours of down time.
• The two people from school who I've talked to the least this semester were the two I talked to the most for the last two years of high school.
• I consider myself a worthless musician.
• I don't know what or where I'll be in five years and that doesn't really bother me much anymore.
• Alana is the only girl who I've felt this comfortable with for this long and I can honestly see her and I staying together when we're all old and grey.
• Sometimes I go over to my uncles house just to watch the baby make faces.
• I don't ever get really embarassed.
• Libertarianism probably is the most closely related ideology to how I feel about politics and government, but I registered and voted Republican and plan to until something drastic happens in government.
• I have two CD's that belong to the library that I lost so now I owe $85,000,000. (blessid union of souls, and foo fighters)
• When I was a baby I slept in a wagon for the first year of my life.
• The only reason I don't want the Colts to go undefeated is because the Broncos couldn't do it in 1998.
• I rarely (if ever) study for tests no matter how big or important they are.
• I'm really bad at keeping a conversation going because my mind wanders so quickly.
• When I drive by myself I usually sing or talk out loud.
• I'm really picky about what shirts I'll wear.
• When it comes to movies I tend to be really cynical and dissaproving.
• I like classical music.
• I always sleep either fully clothed (jeans and everything) or fully naked.

Alright, that's enough for today. Twenty. Yeah, I doubt I'll write another one of these for a long time. I'll think of something original for my next post.

Career Day

So, I really don't know what I want to be when I grow up because I get worried that I'll either not have enough time or enough money to do other things depending on which job I choose. I like writing. Any kind of it. Especially when I'm able to exercise my morbid notion of what creativity should be. Basically, the point of this blog is to reiterate a story that my humanities professor told us the other day in class. ... and I don't know what the purpose of that opening part was. Maybe to prove that I've been writing way too many term papers and I felt the subconcious need to open up with some sort of thesis. Yeah. Way to many papers.

I hate writing.

So my professor had this cousin who lived in New York area and he had this job with the city sewer team. Well, during the winter when everything in the sewer system had froze up one of his jobs was to get down in the tunnels (with this huge fire-hose type thing that sprayed out warm water) and melt all the frozen sewage. So if he couldn't unfreeze all the crap he'd have to go back down the next day, but if it did melt enough all this raw sewage and icy crap would rush at him like a tidal wave.

Moral of the story: if you drop out of college don't move to New York.